ASK NINA: HELP, I THINK MY HUSBAND IS MR. STICKY FINGERS!

ASK NINA: HELP, I THINK MY HUSBAND IS MR. STICKY FINGERS!

By: JJosepha News

Twitter.com/JJosephaNews

Dear Nina;

I have known my husband for five years, we have been married for three years and we both have been Christians for four years. When we were still engaged, he confessed his ill doings and bad ways therefore wiping the slate clean. Recently; some friends and friends of friends were over to our home celebrating a baby shower; my husband was not at home, but working late. One of the guests had commented on how lovely a necklace I had, but that I should be careful if I were to wear it in the street, because that's how hers got stolen. There have been three or four other odd occurrences of items or gifts that my husband had given me or purchased for our home that just does not coincide, but men rarely show or say how much salary they really earn. 

I was recently having lunch with my friends in a fast food place and overheard a strange conversation of a group of women, and one was explaining how the thieves broke into her house, they cooked and ate all the food in the house and the fridge, open and read all her mails and she commented that those bad people had even stole all her panties, bras and lingerie. What was even stranger was the brand, model and colors of the shoes she said they stole and her very expensive bottle of perfume that was broken in the kitchen; but the thieves cleaned it up and didn't even leave the broken glass as evidence. 

The strangest thing is that woman and I both seem to wear the same shoe size and the shoes that she described is a lot like the one I have at home that my husband just recently gave me, but one foot has the strong smell of a women's perfume.

These are some hard economic times and I am suspecting that my husband has probably slipped back into some old habits of his past, what do you think I should do?

Sincerely,

Mrs. Sticky-Fingers

Dear Mrs Sticky-Fingers:

I can't thank you enough for contacting me, and sharing your story and experience with us here at "Ask Nina".

I sympathize and empathize with your concerns; in addition, this is a very serious situation that you may be involved in and with, but let's go!

On one hand:

You can choose the philosophy of the 1993 Bill Clinton military policy of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell", and continue with your life and marriage as though nothing ever happened; but you would have to battle your Christianity.

Whereas, on the other hand:

You can choose to verify and test your suspicions and then make a wiser decision on what to do, and where to get help for both you and your husband afterwards.

CONDITIONAL

May I suggest:

1) That on three separate occasions and hours, you cook your husband his favorite meal or bake his favorite dessert while he is at work and affectionately you carry it to him unannounced and at an unexpected hours.

2) Since you overheard the brand of the perfume of the woman who was a victim of burglary, visit one of the many perfume stores and ask to smell the very expensive perfume that the woman said the thieves had broken in her kitchen and compare the two smells. I might even advise that you carry the shoe itself and have one of the perfume specialist smell the odor of the perfume on the shoes to indicate which perfume it could be. (This you should do as soon as possible!)

INPUT

If in this scenario (#1):

You visited your husband at work unannounced and unexpected but he is not there or it takes an unusual amount of time for him to see you, then you can label this as a Negative (-) component. (Indicative he is more than likely not Innocent.) 

However, if on all three occasions you visited and he was there and happy to see you, then you can label this as a Positive (+) component. So, show him some real affection and let him know you were thinking of him. (Indicative he is more than likely innocent.)

If in this scenario (#2):

The perfume specialist confirmed and you confirmed that the perfume that the women said had broken in her home is that of the same smell as the perfume on those shoes that your husband gave you as a gift, then you can label this as a Negative (-) component. (Indicative he is more than likely not innocent.)

However, if the smells are not remotely the same then you can label this as a Positive (+) component. (Indicative; he is more than likely innocent.)

OUTPUT

Logic A, Logic B and Logic C are first order, whereas Logic D is second order and more evident of the "suspicion being warranted", which is opposite to Logic A; which is first Order and is more evident that your "suspicions are unwarranted". 

Everyone should be given the opportunity that, they are Innocent until proven guilty (See Table 1.0). Therefore: 

A positive product or result is indicative that your husband is more than likely innocent and these are mere coincidences:

Logic A: 

(+) x (+) = [ + ]

But:

A negative product or result is indicative that your husband is more than likely "not innocent" and that these are more than coincidences as seen in Logic B and C which are speculative:

Logic B: 

(+) x (-) = [ - ] or;

Logic C: 

(-) x (+) = [ - ]

However; Logic D creates a "special" second order logic

Logic D: 

(-) x (-) = [ + ], 

however this is a second order equation in which it equals: (-)^2 x (-) = (-)

See Table 2.0

OUTCOME

If after all of this you have realized that you have unjustly accused your husband of such activities, you may consider reviewing your relationship and seek marriage counselling after explaining to your husband what you were thinking. 

However, if you are left with still more uncertainties than assurances about your husband's gift, still sit down and have a meaningful conversation with him and suggest marriage counselling to resolve any trust issues, before having a conversation with a lawyer or notary and then the police; if necessary.

Thanking you for sharing such a difficult story with us at "Ask Nina", and I will remember both you and your husband in my prayers. I wish you the best in the outcome and your quest for honest, sincerity and a loving trusting relationship.

As always it is a humbling experience and a pleasure to be of any service to our dedicated readers, visiting viewers, faithful followers and loyal subscribers to JJosephaNews and the Ask Nina advice column. Thank you, once again for your support and please don't be afraid to "Ask Nina"!

Please stay tuned to next week's column that deals with studying for a degree in business at the universities here in Curacao!

See you next week...

Blessings! 

If you have a question that you would like to be shared and answered, don't hesitate to contact me at: https://bit.ly/jnn-ask-nina and “Ask Nina!” Or, send me an email at asknina@jjosephanews.rf.gd . 

Thanks 1 and all and remember never give up on hope!

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About Ask Nina

"Ask Nina" is an advice column founded, created and operated by Josefina Josepha under the pen name of "Nina". The advice column is managed by JJosepha News. The advice column’s mission is to impart compassionate, sound advice and incorporating expert advice sought from authorities, while delivering a layman’s approach with the straightforward style of a good friend. Have a question, need an answer, Ask Nina!

DISCLAIMER: The advice offered in this column is intended for informational purposes only. The use of this column is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional, financial, medical, legal, or other professional advice. If you have specific concerns or a situation in which you require professional, psychological or medical help, you should consult with an appropriately trained and qualified specialist. The opinions or views expressed in this column are not intended to treat or diagnose; nor are they meant to replace the treatment and care that you may be receiving from a licensed professional, physician or mental health professional. This column, its author, the newspaper and publisher are not responsible for the outcome or results of following any advice in any given situation. You, and only you, are completely responsible for your actions.

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