ASK NINA: BATTERED HUSBAND
By: JJosepha News
Twitter.com/JJosephaNews
Dear Nina
My wife is extremely jealous, and smells me for female perfume even if I just ran out to the toko for a bag of rice, the strange thing is that the toko is just in front of our home and she can see me the entire time!
From since we dated, I always knew that she didn’t take compliments too well and she used to think that I was insulting her or making fun of her if I commented about her smooth skin or her curly hair.
Ever since after our honeymoon, I noticed how she criticizes everyone finding fault with everything, even me and we have been married for about four years now, and this is really affecting me. Even at a routine traffic stop or when we have to travel, she thinks that the flight check-in attendant wants to find out more information about her to gossip about her all over the town.
My wife is a, beautiful, bright skin, slim figured lady with a Coca-Cola bottle shape but she can be very unforgiving and very sarcastic at the touch of a button.
Sometimes, I even have to sleep with one eye open because I have personally felt her vengeful side, especially when she thinks that I am trying to control her.
We were both an only child raised in a single parent home, so I can understand that she is spoilt and used to having her own way. But when I talk with my friends, they say that I am exaggerating and I should be fortunate to have a girl like her, because a little craziness is good for a relationship and intimacy.
I don’t know if my wife is just doing these things to break up our relationship, but I have asked her for us to see a psychologist.
Nina, can you help me understand this please? I have seen Jerry Springer show and the Bill Cunningham show and know that she probably might have a behaviour disorder?
Sincerely,
Battered Husband – there are more of us than you think!
Dear BH,
I completely understand your situation and sympathize with you, but please let me point out just a few issues. Please don’t despair, I am answering your concern!
Thank you for sharing your marriage experience with us at Ask Nina.
The difference between a psychologist vs. a psychiatrist
A psychologist is a professional who evaluates and studies behaviour and mental processes, usually attaining at least a Masters Degree, whereas a psychiatrist is a physician/medical doctor who specializes in psychiatry. A psychiatrist specializes in the diagnosis and treatment of mental disorders, and must evaluate patients to determine whether their symptoms are the result of a physical illness, a combination of physical and mental, or just strictly a psychiatric one.
Advice to seriously seek professional help for both you and your wife
This is not an exhaustive list of psychiatric or medical centers in Curacao, but this should help in getting you in contact with a psychiatrist: Dr Guillermo, Dr Casals-Perez, Dr Valdivie, Dr Montoya, Dr Matroos, Dr Guillon, or Dr Garcia-Buchaca.
You may also want to call the following for further help and assistance: Capriles Kliniek, or Sentro Salu Integral.
What you have described sounds more like a personality disorder than a behaviour disorder
A personality disorder is a deeply ingrained and maladaptive pattern of behaviour of a specified kind, typically manifest by the time one reaches adolescence and causing long-term difficulties in personal relationships or in functioning in society.
With the information that you have given it seems more as though there might be a PPD, paranoid personality disorder. Even though this is more common in males than in females, it doesn’t mean that it can’t be the case. PPD is a type of eccentric personality disorder. This means the behaviour may seem odd or unusual to others. An individual with paranoid personality behaviour has extreme suspicion of others.
The Cause
The cause of PPD is unknown, but childhood trauma is usually a contributing factor and you may discover that someone in your wife’s family tree has a history of mental illness such as schizophrenia and for more specific familial relationship with delusional disorder persecutory type.
The Symptoms
In general many individuals with PPD are not aware of their problem. Suspicions of others may seem completely rational to a person with PPD. However, others around him or her may deem this distrust of others unwarranted.
Symptoms include:
• being quick to become angry and hostile
• being argumentative and defensive
• believing that others have hidden motives or are out to harm you
• doubting the loyalty of others
• being hypersensitive to criticism
• having trouble working with others
• becoming detached or socially isolated
• being argumentative and defensive
• believing that others have hidden motives or are out to harm you
• doubting the loyalty of others
• being hypersensitive to criticism
• having trouble working with others
• becoming detached or socially isolated
Outlook:
According to medical authorities, the outlook depends on whether your wife is willing to accept treatment or not if she is diagnosed as PPD.
If she accepts treatment she can function normally. However, treatment needs to continue throughout her lifetime because there is NO cure for PPD.
However, if she is resistant to treatment, life may become increasingly difficult and you could face an even greater strain in your marriage.
I am not a medical doctor but I wish you the best in all your efforts and hope I have been of some help and assistance to you understanding your situation much better and much more and that you may learn how to deal with your wife much better and also find peace and tranquility for yourself.
Thank you for contacting me and sharing your situation with us at Ask Nina! I hope that this has been educational and informative for both you and our readers.
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About Ask Nina
"Ask Nina" is an advice column founded, created and operated by Josefina Josepha under the pen name of "Nina". The advice column is managed by JJosepha News. The advice column’s mission is to impart compassionate, sound advice and incorporating expert advice sought from authorities, while delivering a layman’s approach with the straightforward style of a good friend. Have a question, need an answer, Ask Nina!
DISCLAIMER: The advice offered in this column is intended for informational purposes only. The use of this column is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional, financial, medical, legal, or other professional advice. If you have specific concerns or a situation in which you require professional, psychological or medical help, you should consult with an appropriately trained and qualified specialist. The opinions or views expressed in this column are not intended to treat or diagnose; nor are they meant to replace the treatment and care that you may be receiving from a licensed professional, physician or mental health professional. This column, its author, the newspaper and publisher are not responsible for the outcome or results of following any advice in any given situation. You, and only you, are completely responsible for your actions.
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